Wednesday, September 17, 2008

Partial credit?

It’s the careful time, the eyelash time,
breeze still as blame,
when the XXX the XXX
come down the narrow track
bent on your name.

You can run till the air you move chills
chaps your soft face
or face the blade and XXX your eye
quick and crisp as a Northern Spy
safe in your grace.

I don't mess with formal poetry much. I want my meter to be either lockstep-rigid or so subtle that only I can find it. Playing with Mister In-Between, as I was doing here, makes me uncomfortable.

I don't know what those missing words are, and that's bad, because the ones in line three are pretty much what the poem is about, if it's about anything.


The Storialist said...

Hurray for daily poems! I'm doing the same.

There are moments that get frustrating, but this is so good for my brain.

Plus, there are some poems of mine I like, many that I don't....keeping a daily poetry blog is like allowing unflattering pictures of oneself to be posted online.

Keep it up...there are a lot of great things happening in your poems!

The Storialist said...

I know how frustrating/rewarding it is to write a daily poetry blog...I'm also keeping a themed poetry blog.

There are some great things happening in your poems! I love the Jessica Fletcher one....I think poems about TV would be most excellent.

Keep writing.

Pam said...

Unflattering pictures--exactly! So glad you get it. This is more about process than about product.